I live in a house full of dudes.
I don’t mean this in the braggy, holier than thou way I might have said it as a teenager, when having male friends equaled status and power and played into that trope of the cool, badass chick that made people go, “Who-hoa-hooooa; what’s she doing hangin’ with the guys?”
Unrelated: this gif may feature Olivia Newton John in the forefront
but it is ACTUALLY about Dinah Manoff (green dress directly to ONJ’s left.)
What is she even doing?
No, I live with dudes now. It’s fine; it’s not the 24 hour party that New Girl made it out to be, but it’s alright. Still, I wish I could live with a ragtag girl-gang. It would make moments like a few days ago when I forgot to close my door way easier.
My bedroom has a bathroom in it! Yay!
I took a shower! Awesome, congratulations!
I got out of the bathroom and sat on my bed! Woohoo!
Then I remembered I threw the pants I wanted to wear behind the door! Huzzah!
I went to go get my pants! OH. OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH MY GOD; THE DOOR WAS OPEN AND ONE OF MY ROOMMATES SAT ON THE COUCH AND OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE I AM PRETTY SURE HE LOOKED MY WAY.
I shut the door and stood still for what seemed like an eternity. I stood still the way one might stand still if they were trapped on the same floor as an office assailant. I don’t know why; it’s not like that’s something they teach you to do in Girl Scouts when you try to earn that coveted “Your Male Roommate Sees Your Boob and Probably Everything Else, Too” Try-It.
Steps to earn this Try-It:
Step Number 1. Don’t earn this Try-It.
If I lived with a ragtag girl gang, it would have been a laughable mistake. It would have been,
“Hey! Your boob’s out!”
Or: “Put on some clothes, woman!”
Or a nice, well timed Dr. Zoidberg impression!
With dude roommates it’s not all fun and laugh tracks; it’s that awkward pause on an Aaron Sorkin show. If the situation had been reversed and I saw a rogue wiener, I would probably run and try to stuff myself under the couch like my cat.
Cool Sh!t of the week:
1. I did Range: Sorkin at the Pack Theater. Range is a show where comedians do serious stuff to show their range. This month’s show was themed around an episode of HBO’s The News Room and it was dooope. I got to work with the always sunny/always funny Jillian Dunn again.
2. I went to the Super Bowl in Houston. The best part, by far, was this old, old lady saying, “The Falcons ain’t been here since I can remember and I’ve been around a long time and I’m gonna be dying sometime soon, so you tell me, boy: what is two thousand dollars? I love this team more than you! Now go on!”
The boy she was talking to was the one pushing her chair.
3. I did some commercial auditions and drafted out a cover letter to send to theatrical reps. I wrote a normal cover letter and resisted the urge to simply write: “If Betsy Devos can be the Education Secretary, then I can certainly do whatever the hell is needed to be a waitress on a sitcom.” Thanks for the inspiration, Matthew Monagle.
4. I got the final edit of a film I worked on this summer. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will have edited my reel to include footage of my British accent because the world totally needs that.
5. Taxi Cat did some more real cute sh!t: