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A most fitting facial expression.

Yesterday, through some kind of small miracle, I looked at my phone and committed the time – 4:17 – to the part of my brain that actually remembers shit.

Then I started my reading Facebook feed.

First it was the slew of posts like “ACTION ITEM: DO THIS RIGHT NOW ELSE THEY WILL COME FOR YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE.”

That led to a trance like state in which I read article after article about how Donald Trump fired all the people in the NSC who actually know what they’re doing and replaced them with Steve Bannon. Since more people are familiar with the (fabulous) Shonda Rhimes show Scandal than the actual NSC, let me put it like this: Steve Bannon now has control of B6-13, except in this scenario everyone knows what B6-13 does. 

That led to a DELUGE of articles about the detainees in our airports, the people who were tricked into flying BACK to the middle east, protests, lawyers volunteering their time and efforts to ensure that lawful citizens can come back in, and before I knew it I was reading conspiracy theories about how Steve Bannon plans to orchestrate a fake domestic terrorist attack to add fuel to his supporters and thinking, “Whoa, this makes a lot of sense.”

I sat on my bed, staring into my phone, for over an hour. When I looked up and saw the time – 5:32 – I had two thoughts: that I could have spent that time writing or calling my representatives. I could have gone to a protest. I could have gone to shows. I could have spent that time funneling my rage into creative endeavors like sketches, stand-up, or writing in this blog.

Right now life consists of:

  1. Sampling fruit bars and cheddar crackers in bougie, well-to-do grocery stores.
  2. Staring at my phone and obsessing over the current state of our government.
  3. Pushing buttons on a selfie booth where I spend hours helping people take pictures of themselves.
  4. Staring into my phone fuming about the proudly ignorant.
  5. Trying to pretend that I didn’t just eat some of the cheddar crackers that I was supposed to sample to others.
  6. Staring into my phone, wondering if I should try to convince a Canadian to marry me.
  7. Eating a whole box of cheddar bunnies and crying to the stocking manager about how I moved here to be an actress but now we’re going to blow up and it doesn’t matter plus I’m gross and why am I bringing this back around to myself?
  8. Staring into my phone pondering Hitler and death.
  9. Cheddar crackers.

I’m going to wean myself from Facebook. Not entirely, because I still want to get invited 2 partiez and also because this one lady I know posts really funny stuff about her pet rabbit, but I’m going to try to steer clear the echo chamber. I’m going to write more here and less there.

I want to be an artist and I want to be effective and the only way to do that is to create again.

COOL SH!T OF THE WEEK:

I’m going to start every Monday off with a list of cool things that happened mostly because we can and should champion ourselves, but also because I’m one step closer to being a crazy woman who hides magical stones in her bra to summon the good luck dragon that runs the universe  – aw, crap. I don’t even know how it works.

Here’s some cool shit that happened in my world this week:

  1. I booked and filmed a luxury car brand commercial.  Not only did we shoot the spot smack dab in the middle of some gorgeous snow covered mountains, but the most of the crew flew in from Germany and constantly called out to each other in German. I felt like I was at the Dana Carvey show watching the “Germans Who Say Nice Things” sketch.

    2. This was last Friday but we’ll include it here: I wrangled some classmates to perform a sketch I wrote for the Go Sketch Yourself! show at Pack Theater last Friday and it killed.

    3. I performed a scene from Neil LaBute’s The Break of Noon for my last acting class at Berg Studios and it went really well. One generous student said it was just like being at the theatre. The teacher asked why I wasn’t coming back and I said,
    “I don’t have an agent and I need to be auditioning. I feel like maybe I should be using my class budget for workshops so I can try to get auditions while they are still happening.”
    The teacher was silent for a second.
    “I agree with you,” he said, “But you need to make sure you find a place to study. You need to stay sharp. You absolutely should have an agent and you absolutely should be auditioning. I get it. Just make sure you are learning shit, don’t just throw your money at casting directors who tell you how good you are and then do nothing.”
    Then, as we went back to our seats, the class flooded with support. I know where you can take workshops! I know this one place that’s really good! I can make a referral to my rep! I can help!
    I felt like my scene partner and I had worked hard and it felt good to receive and accept that kind of feedback.

  2. Taxi Cat did some real cute sh!t:

Omg someone make me stop #TaxiCat #GiantCats #siamese #siamesecatsofinstagram

A video posted by Jas Sams (@jas_a_frass) on

How about you? What kinds of COOL SH!T happened in your world this week?

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