Types of Representation for Actors Explained.

Any human being can acquire representation for almost anything. Publishing, art, performance, baby daddies; the possibilities are endless. In other words, if you do something, you can probably commission another person to talk about whatever it is you do on your behalf. Actors are such complex creatures and normally require at least two types of representation:

The Commercial Agent submits their actors for commercials. This is fairly straightforward. 

The Theatrical Agent, unlike what their title suggests, actually submits their actors for film.

Then there is The ambiguous third agent who gets you actual theatre work.  I don't think you need a theater agent unless you live on the east coast. Most theater in LA pays around $11 a performance. Not joking. If you want to do theater and earn the Equity minimum, LA may not be the best place for you.

Many agents, like my east coast agent, are lovely people. Others, however, have balls like steel. They can still be lovely, but they still give off the impression that they will cut you if you look at them the wrong way in the cafeteria.

In addition to the main types of agents, actors who are motivated enough to do so may seek out additional representation in the form of a manager or a publicist.

A manager is like an agent except they have more time for you. Whereas agents represent anywhere from 100 to 1,000 people, a manager may represent 5 to 10 people. Personally, I was under the impression that actors don't need a manager until they make a certain amount of money per year.  Other actors tell me that this is not so.

"You have got to get a manager!" they say.
"Why?"
"Because. Because they're important and you've gotta have one! MANAGERS AAARRRRRAWRARARARAR"

Before I came to Los Angeles I thought that managers were mostly older and very often angry men who wore expensive suits day and night and yelled phrases like, "NO!" and "You're KIDDING ME!" and "MORE!" 

What I used to think managers were.

However, recent events have led me to discover that managers take on a variety of different forms.

When V/H/S had its LA premier, I was shocked to learn that the nice young man I had been talking to on my way to the margarita station was actually my director's manager.

"You are not!" I yelled. He appeared to be taken aback. 

"Why not?"

"Because you're like me."

"Oh?" 

"Managers are supposed to be older and they yell a lot and they don't have any fun. You look like a normal person."

My eloquence, ladies and gentlemen.

Lastly, actors with considerable income can also hire a publicist. A publicist is someone who knows how to use the phone and get on the internet. They use these skills to communicate with people who can get you on the list for things like charity events, award shows, and other important occasions where hopefully someone will photograph you doing something that could make you relevent. They also take phone calls on your behalf in case people become interested in your personal life. 

Out of all the representation that I just discussed, publicists are the only ones who take money up front. A good publicist - that is to say, a publicist that can make people care about you the fastest - starts out at around $1,500 USD a month. 

It seems a tad extravagant to me - like that time Scarlett O'Hara wore that red feathered dress to show Melanie and her friends how much more money she had than them.

Then again, we will see how my tune changes if I ever have fifteen hundred American dollars to throw at someone every month. Until I reach that point, I feel comfortable in my own ability to use the phone and the internet. As far as getting into parties and events, I'll just try making friends.