Smile Big and Pretty is on the road to Los Angeles! Follow Jas on Instagram at 0smilebigandpretty or follow the Hashgr.am feed HERE!
Two days ago I sat down at a vacant dining room table, made myself a cup of coffee, and wrote the following as I waited for the potential opportunity to fight off vagrants and neighborhood troublemakers:
After what can only be described as a tornado of packing VS. unpacking VS. transporting VS. more packing, everything is in in place for what I can only hope will be a life changing, cross country journey. The car has been packed. The loved ones have been properly hugged and kissed. The mind has been prepped for the ungodly realization of what I am about to do to kick in.
Only one task remains.
My last act of valor in Atlanta consisted of a duel with the beast of bedtime.
Player Number One, a vivacious and extremely intelligent 1.7 year old, lasted well into the eight o’clock hour and resigned herself to slumber only after I retrieved a plastic ice-cream scoop for her and pretended to eat it while Elizabeth Mitchell played on my iPhone.
Player Number Two, a young lady who is also already probably way more intelligent that me, lasted slightly longer. She tried to trick me into letting her stay up by saying that a rousing game of Littlest Pet Shop was just the ticket to making her sleepy. A game of Littlest Pet Shop, according to Player Number Two, consists of emptying out all of the action figures from a box and re-envisioning them as characters from Harry Potter. Having already played this game with her the last time I body-guarded for the girls, I knew very well that this was not a sleep inducing activity and suggested we read a story instead.
“Touche, Body Guard,” she said.
She didn’t really say that. (However, her expression indicated she would have had touche been an active word in her vocabulary.)
Now that the girls have fallen asleep and it’s just me and my thoughts, I’m knee deep in nervous anticipation. This is it. Now what? How do I make the best of my situation? Will people like me? How can I do my best to ensure that I don’t crash and burn in the vicious industry of Los Angeles? What does the future have in store? How can I trick someone into representing me? How can I make money writing?
How will I know what to do?
I wonder about all of this and more until I remind myself that right now, in the present, I probably shouldn't kill myself worrying over such things because I may or may not have just used an eHow video to change a diaper.