Then it actually happened.
| I am happy to report that this is one of the first images that comes up when you Google "wrestling fans." |
Scarlett's Web and Dim Sum ran simultaneously, so I would often come backstage during intermission to find Steve and the punishment gang readying the horrors for the losing teams. One evening, he approached me and said,
"Hey, would you be interested in shooting a couple of promo videos for PCW?"
I thought back to my first real exposure to the world of professional wrestling. Back then, I would spend my evenings hanging out with a trio of friends who all lived together. We'd drink and watch cartoons and, one evening, they suggested we watch Smackdown.
"Are you kidding?" I asked.
"Jas, have you even seen it?"
"No, but I knew this kid who wore a giant WWE t-shirt to 7th grade every day and I didn't like him."
"You can't judge a sport because of some kid you knew in middle school."
"Can I?"
"Just watch it."
"Fine."
At that moment, my life is split into two parts: the part before I saw the WWE and the part after I saw the WWE. I had now seen 7 foot tall man named The Undertaker headbutt a luchadore - and my life was forever changed* because of it.
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| *Kind of. |
"Of course!" I said.
He contacted me again a few months later with another opportunity:
"It's PCW's anniversary and I'm bringing back my former wrestling persona, The Lethal Litigator," he explained, "except the woman who played the assistant, Miss Stiletto, is no longer in the picture. You wouldn't have to wrestle or anything; we'd just enter to some Black Sabbath and then there'd be this huge finale where you'd rush in and participate at the end. Like a sidekick. You want in?"
I made arrangements to see my first PCW show that Friday so that I could get a feel for the format.
As I approached the ticket booth, the owner of the theater came out from backstage and said,
"Oh, no no! Don't take her money. She's in the show."
"Excuse me?"
"You're in the show, right?"
"I... guess?"
"Come with me."
He led me backstage where twenty-five people, all decked out in their wrestling persona gear, stretched and warmed up for the show.
"Steve!" the owner shouted, "I got her for ya."
"Look at her!" Steve said, seeing my face, "She thought she was just coming to watch - little did she know she was going to be in the show."
"What do you mean when you say, 'in the show?"
"Well... I had this idea," he began.
-
The show neared the end of the finale match; a knock down, thirty minute battle between two of the roughest and toughest. Suddenly, though, the rival wrestling company ambushed the PCW ring, wreaking havoc over the PCW domain as everyone knew it. Multiple wrestlers from each company were fighting for control when, at last, it came down to two wrestlers: Steve Platinum and Rachel Tension.
They flew into an unscheduled battle, knocking one another around the ring until Rachel had her opponent locked in a headgrip of some kind and wasn't letting go.
That's when I got up and yelled, "NO!" as I bolted to the stairs. I swung under the bottom rope and darted into the ring, yanking Rachel Tension away by the hair. We dived to the ground, banging each other's heads against the mat and yanking each other's faces from side to side. Hair flew. Insults and furious screams resonated throughout the hall.
Finally, I escaped off to the side and her teammates came to lead her out of the hall as she yelled,
"I'm going to kill her! Let me at her! SHE'S A DEAD WOMAN!"
I crawled back onstage and stood up, smiling at her as she fought her restraints. I shrugged my shoulders and yelled,
"What!" as they finally succeeded in pulling her through the door.
You should have heard the audience when Steve announced that he was resurrecting the Lethal Litigator and that he would see the opposing team at the anniversary challenge that following Friday.
I couldn't help but feel invigorated as I combed the effects of the cat fight out of my hair that night.
Not too shabby for an impromptu lesson in stage catfighting.
Platinum Championship Wrestling goes down at The Academy Theater in Atlanta, GA every Friday @ 8pm! Buy Tickets!

Wow, that sounds epic! Wish you had video of the catfight between you and Rachel Tension (what a great stage name!).
ReplyDeletePictures or it didnt happen!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. I so desperately want to see this. SO DESPERATELY. If *ahem* WHEN you come visit me, you can teach me all about cage fighting! :)
ReplyDelete@ Tsa - Oh, totally. It was awesome.
ReplyDelete@ Jes - I am working on it! I know that someone was there with a camera. Gotta track them down.
@ Sara - I learned two ways to choke someone out! And there are even MORE!
I have a total aversion to wrestling after an unsavoury event in junior school play ground – we were playing tag team wrestling when my team mate went off for an unscheduled toilet break ....only he didn’t return – which turned it into a triple shit smack down event –
ReplyDeleteThe little shit for not returning,
The shit he did – I hope it was a really big one the kind that bring tears to your eyes and stains to your under carriage....
and
The seven shades of shit that got kicked out of me as my opponents double tagged me almost to death...
I’m sure I still have residual bruising 35 years later
The day after the match, I received a text message that said,
"Hey, Jas. Would you like to learn how to kill someone with your bare hands?"
My reply?
"Yes. Yes, I would."
Errrmm...now you won’t be offended if I slink off and don’t return....bad memories and all that.....