April 29, 2009.
I checked my bank statements for the past three months and my jaw nearly fell off. The rate at which I am carelessly spending money astounds me. To a complete stranger, the purchases would outline the shape of an indulgent, over stimulated slob. I'm not going to lie; if I were looking at one of these statements without knowing it was my own, I'd probably think that the person it applied to was a fatass. In one week alone from last month, I had four different orders from Taco Bell, two from Krystals, two pints of Ben&Jerry's, a vibrator that pulsates in rhythm with whatever is playing on your ipod, and several shopping binges at Target and Wal-Mart. I have this idea of myself I try to live up to from time to time; the kind of someone above shopping at Wal-Mart because of the nature of the company and how it has negatively impacted small business and the economy in general, but deep down I know better. I buy the Equate brand acne medicine just like everyone else and justify it to myself by saying that, even if I did happen to boycott the mega-chain, that one person wasn't going to take down a beast like Wal-Mart. I read the statement again and felt like a piece of hypocrite scum as I prepared to go out for beer and dinner.
The fact that school will be ending in less than 15 days and I still have no employment is particularly troubling to me. With my checking account dwindling down and no real source of income other than what my mother and father graciously give to me for groceries, I am not going to have a stockpile in my savings for all of the things that I am going to have to pay for next fall when school starts back up. Not to mention that three hundred and fifty dollars of that savings will be eaten up with the ticket that some asshole cop unjustly issued me. Who in the hell drives 65 MPH on I-85? Don't ask me. I was busy driving 80 MPH just like everyone else. The cop singled me out because of the bumper stickers on the back of my car. I know it. Note to self: get your opinions on gay marriage and evolution off of the back of your car.
Wait. That requires Goo-Be-Gone. And that costs money.