Maybe it’s just the times that are changing, but since I moved to Los Angeles, I find myself surrounded more and more by women who repeatedly date the most ridiculous men and then complain to other women about how “there are no good men.”
Women will post their horrendous experiences with their men online and say things like, “I know he loved me,” or “He’s acting this way because he’s hurt but I know he loves me,” or some variation thereof. Not so hidden in the details, however, are blatant indicators that these guys never were good news.
So here are some helpful tips and hints for ladies who seem to have trouble distinguishing between sketchy males and not sketchy males:
1. If he, in a serious manner, uses the words “friend” and “zone” in this order: “friend zone,” do not date him. If you have to question whether or not he is serious, forget it. Not worth it. Ain’t nobody got time for this bullshit when there are plenty of good men out there who’ll say, “WTF Friend zone whaaaaat?”
2. If he regularly gets a table and orders bottle service and has a ton of girls all up in his business at clubs or makes it “rain” ANYWHERE, do not date him. I mean, I get that people have money, but I don’t understand those practices. Also, I have never met a person that threw singles and shots of Grey Goose at me that made a great impression. I wouldn’t date him.
2a. If he dances behind you and presses his body against yours without permission and you can feel his penis, do not date him. Also: rude. Also, ew.
You may think it’s like this:
But I personally think that it’s more like this:
Either way, both suck.
3. If he got a big boy job and the first thing he did was buy an expensive car without proving that he could keep said big boy job, do not date him. Who the hell buys a car without knowing they have the financial ability to keep it for more than the time being? Not someone you want to date, that’s for damn sure.
6. If he calls you “baby,” or any other super familiar term and there’s no way you know each other well enough to warrant those names, do not date him.
7. If his friends are douchebags, do not date him – even if it seems like he’s not a douchebag. Sorry not sorry; he’s probably a douchebag.
9. If he gives you the “uh oh” feeling, at all, then do not date him.
I think that this is pretty simple. Indicators and clues are real things. I find that there is a higher ratio of douchebags to these telling details.
Besides, I personally feel like you’re more likely to find someone with a heart of gold OUTSIDE Supper Club than inside and you’re more likely to find someone you can engage in a meaningful relationship based on common interests and mutual trust out there in the real world than in the LA party scene.
Seriously. These dudes are only good for hook-ups – if even that. Remember: just because he looks good and you guys danced together while one or both of you both were wasted, you don’t OWE him anything. Just because you guys are hooking up or have hooked up, you don’t OWE him anything. There is no need to keep that going for any extended amount of time unless you really want to and have nothing or no one else better to do at the time. Chances are he can’t connect or communicate well enough to sustain anything remotely worthy of your time. (Or fuck well.)
Feel free to add your two cents.